I found a time capsule

Hello, I know I haven't updated my blog in a very long time but this was due to examinations. But now I have finished school and I'm eager to start blogging regularly again! So...anecdote time!

Unlike many people nowadays, I still own all my old videos as well as my video player. I do like "staying with the times" and do of course own a DVD Player and a whole drawer full of DVD's but I honestly don't see the point in throwing out videos if they still work... plus most of my favourite Disney films are in video format and it's not always easy finding them again. Anyway, I was looking at the row of videos on my shelf the other day when I noticed one that I'd completely forgotten about; the "two in one" video of films, Anastasia and Bartok the Magnificent. Just looking at the cover art of this video seemed to awaken something in my mind, something I'd previously forgotten about that hadn't ever disappeared but was just dormant in the very back of my mind.

When I was about five years old I became fascinated, almost enchanted with a particular scene in "Anastasia" in which the female protagonist sings a song in an deserted, grand house and, as she sings, hundreds on glistening figures appear and start dancing along with her. And at the very end of the song the dream-like figures dissolve in to thin air again and the girl was left alone. I distinctly remember a wide shot of the now completely deserted hall she was sitting in. I don't quite know why I was so mesmerized by this scene but I remember being completely taken by the atmosphere and the contrast of the room filled with people to the deserted empty hall. If my vague description didn't do this justice then here is a link to the very scene from YouTube.

The point of this post was not to merely describe this scene in "Anastasia" but to share my delight of finding this thing that had made such an impression on me when I was younger. I can't believe I forgot about it but the sense of discovery at recalling it again and being able to listen to the song and recognise the lyrics was almost as magical as the feeling I had originally felt watching it as a young girl. I know know how it feels to find a time capsule and the coolest thing is that it was not a regular time capsule that was organised and put together purposely... This one was completely accidental.

A Revising Girl's Diary

The main problem I, personally, have with revision is, aside from the fact that it's work and no one likes work, it makes me slightly lonely. Of course revision and studying can be a social activity if you make it one but, unfortunately, I have an appallingly short attention span and work a lot better individually for this reason. I've done a few revision sessions with friends before but they've never been particularly productive so I doubt I'll "attend" many in the near future. So, yes, revision makes me lonely. It also makes me lazy- in terms of anything else that isn't school related, for example getting dressed and looking nice. Lastly, working on subjects such as maths, science and history fairly intensely make me feel creatively frustrated and by this I mean I crave more than anything to express myself in some way, I also get really strong urges to read books but, inconveniently not the books that I will be writing about in my English Lit paper in three weeks.

This "creative frustration" is the reason that I am writing this blog post. The fact that I'm about to post it on the internet is besides the point as I confess I'm writing it for myself as opposed to for anyone's enjoyment. I never intended for this blog to become so personal but I'm writing these thoughts here because the computer is the closest thing to me, at the moment. I actually keep a diary and would normally write such thoughts in there but, as I said before, the revision related laziness means I can't walk next door and pick up a notepad.

It's a slightly scary thought that I only have two months left of mandatory education. It's particularly strange for me, as someone who hasn't made up her mind where she will be studying her A levels next year, to not know to what extent my life is going to change in September. I may stay at my Secondary school for them and I might go somewhere a little further afield. But, regardless of that, things are going to change anyway. Friends will be moving away; going to different colleges; doing different courses. I'm not trying to be sentimental here, I promise...

There's no denying it's scary to think the end of my official school days is approaching but it's also very exciting. I'm excited for the long holiday coming up, I'm excited for the creative projects that I'll be able to start in this time and I'm very excited for the courses I will be taking next year. Anyway, It's time for me to get back to some revision so I'm going to wrap this up. I hope everyone reading this is well.

~Freya~

Tumblr, Internet Projects and Inspiration

Seems it's the last day of BEDA today I can't NOT write a post. I'm currently researching artists- Marc Chagall's work is really interesting, you should check it out. So...does anybody here use tumblr? I, personally, think it's an awesome tool for inspiration- I don't post much but I could easily spend hours on end surfing through the different pages, looking at quotations, pictures and photographs, which always leave me feeling creative. I definitely prefer Blogspot as a place to write (although a friend of mine regularly writes on tumblr) so I'm not being "controversial" talking about tumblr on here. I see tumblr as more of a visual source of inspiration, whereas I see blogspot as inspiration in a written form. Both are awesome sites for gaining inspiration and expressing inspiration. If you're in the slightest bit interested, here is my tumblr page. I gave it the title "My visual source of inspiration" but I don't blog or re-blog anything enough, at present, to make this title a worthy one. I'm working on it though, not for other people to visit it, but for me to be able to visit it for reference and inspiration. What do you guys think of tumblr?

Now I want to talk a little about forced creativity (and by that I mean things like BEDA, VEDA and NaNoWriMo). There's been a lot of discussion on YouTube and here on Blogspot about whether or not these projects are actually encouraging creativity. Some people question whether they actually stifle creativity and force people to put out content which isn't interesting or entertaining. I admit that I have some posts on here that, as a result of blogging every day (well, I say every day) which aren't up to a standard that I am proud of. However, I have posted a few things which I really do like and that I wouldn't have come up with if I hadn't been doing BEDA, this year. So, overall, I have mixed feelings on this "every day" malarkey but I have, on the whole, really enjoyed it and haven't found it too taxing*.

As for NaNoWriMo, I confess I have barely even looked at my novel, since November; partly because I'm trying to focus on school work but also because I haven't been that inspired to edit it. I don't blame this on NaNo, I wouldn't have even wrote it in the first place if it wasn't for that but I just hope that I'll still feel it's worth editing when I go back to it...I am feeling more inspired to finish it at the moment though, for the record. The main problem I have with writing is that I tend to get super, super, super absorbed in a writing project if I allow myself to think about it too much and the reality is that, at the moment, I cannot afford to be overally involved in a huge writing project when I have exams to revise for. I'm currently putting off several projects until my exams are over; time consuming YouTube videos, large writing projects, huge book series re-readings etcetera. I want to try to get out of this mind frame though- I know I could still be writing whilst revising for exams, I know tonnes of writers manage to fit writing in when they are super busy. I'm just an unmotivated, lazy, unproductive person who can't focus on more than one thing at a time. Gosh, sorry, I've gone of on a rather negative tangent- I'm sorry for moaning, I just get frustrated with myself. The funny thing is I don't even mind sharing this with the internet.

To sum up this post I will say that I've enjoyed doing BEDA; I did it for a new experience, to see if I enjoy it and because I thought it would be an easy, slightly creative activity to do alongside revision. It's worked pretty well- maybe I'll swap to daily novel editing instead, just a tiny bit at a time. We'll see how it goes, shall we? I'm a great supporter of not just accepting your flaws and problems but trying to change them. I'm also a big supporter of just freaking doing things- you regret things that you didn't do more than things you did do. I don't regret spontaneously doing/failing at BEDA, I don't regret spontaneously doing NaNoWriMo in my mock exam month and I will continue going ahead with creative projects until the day I die. So many creative people just sit around talking about things they're going to do instead of doing them.